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Please, Please Tell Me Now

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Erica is test driving a car and receives voicemail from Kai confirming a date that night. Julianne asks who it is and Erica says it's a secret. Erica's voiceover: "Secrets, they say, are all revealed in time... Most of us know this, that almost all secrets have a way of getting out, eventually,"

At 50/50, Julianne and Brent are trying to figure out who the mystery man is. And, they are grappling with their own secret - that they're sleeping together. Erica arrives, and gets a call from Scott at the Rock. While they've dominated the male demographic of the market, he wants to partner with 50/50, which dominates the female demographic. After the call Erica says: If you can't bankrupt your competition, buy them? Dream on. 

At Goblins, Erica talks to Lenin and Sam. Sam is two weeks overdue and wants Lenin's support so she will go into labor.

Dr. Tom and Amanda are taking a stroll and they bump into Adam working on his first project as foreman. Dr. Tom introduces Amanda to Adam and is awkwardly silent about who Adam is, simply saying he is someone that I know. 

Erica has a romantic candlelight dinner in a performing theater with Kai. He serenades her, they kiss, and Erica says: if I had doctor powers I would stop this moment forever. Kai jokes she can time travel back to this moment and she says how do you know I'm not Dr. Erica visiting from the future? Kai then gets serious and says he needs to tell her what happens in the future. Erica stops him because if he tries, Dr. Fred will pull him out. Kai says it's not fair, and then Dr. Fred appears and warns him not to keep talking about it.

An indignant Erica intervenes and asks what will happen, will they pull her out? Put her in front of some doctor's council? Dr. Fred understands Erica is upset, and she asks if she's dead in 2019. He says he can't tell her and she she says: you're trying to make me pay for your mistake? Sorry won't cut it. I need to know. So Dr. Fred tells her in 2019 Union Station is attacked and bombed, and that Erica and many others die. Erica asks: And if I don't go to Union Station? Dr. Fred replies: this is new territory for me. In the future I'm from, you're not alive.

At the apartment Erica decides she won't whine about it and will get on with her day. Kai suggests she makes a bucket list, and she does. "We all waste so much of our lives putting things off but you know how much time you have left." One thing she wants is to see the Rockies, and Kai shows her his tour dates, including a stop in Jasper. He invites Erica to go on tour with him right after Dave and Ivan's wedding.

She finds herself at Dr. Tom's office and thinks he is disappointed with her for wanting to know the truth from Kai. Dr. Tom: "I'm not mad. Before, disappointed, possibly. But now if I say anything I'm a hypocrite. Secrets, the big ones. They're hard to live with, hard to keep, difficult to resist digging into once we know they're there. I find myself struggling with the same thing. Sorry... you're going to have to manage this one on your own. I don't always have the answers for you."

Julianne and Erica get email from Scott and Erica decides: we could hear him out. Go over there now, get it over with. He can't make us do anything we don't want to do. 

At the Rock, Scott offers more than fair market value for 50/50 - $500,000 each, plus an additional $500,000 after a 5 month contract. This would give them power and freedom to go after A listers - both fiction and non-fiction. 

Discussing the offer back at 50/50, Julianne says she doesn't want to open a company to sell their souls two years later and work for Scott. Erica says: We call the shots. Julianne rebuts: No, he's our boss. Erica says this gives us deeper pockets, we can get there faster. The future is a big question mark. You could get struck by lightning, I could get hit by a car. Her earnestness confuses Julianne. 

Erica returns home, to see a 43 year old version of herself waiting for her. 

Future Erica: I woudn't have come if it weren't important. Present Erica: But I'm supposed to be dead. I survived? Future Erica: We did, and we didn't. Dr. Fred wasn't wrong, in his reality you're dead. Both dead and alive in two different threads. 

Question: who did we lose our virginity to? Present Erica: Zach Creed. Future Erica: Are you sure it wasn't Alex Berlin, because actually, it's both. There are two realities, two choices, they both exist. Future Erica shows present Erica a hallway with doors and tells her: "this is a manifestation of our life. The doors are choices we make every day." She points to a door: life if we'd stayed at River Rock. Life if we'd married Ethan. A reality in which Leo didn't go to the barn that night, where he's alive in 2011. But that's not our reality, no matter how much we'd like it to be. Here's where we find ourselves now. Kai and Dr. Fred don't tell you about 2019 and you die. Behind this door, because you know what happens, you avoid it and survive. 

Present Erica: Why you telling me this? Future Erica: Stop allowing your future to dictate your present. We all know we're going to die but the exact moment is a secret. Knowing changes how you act, the choices you make. You need to live fully in the present, unencumbered by the past, or the future. Current Erica exits back to the apartment.

43 year old Erica goes through another door to Dr. Tom's office. Dr. Tom greets her, hesitates, then chuckles. "Or should I say, Dr Erica?" Future Erica: Are you asking me about the future? Dr. Tom: Maybe. It's strange seeing you this way. The same, but different. Future Erica: Eight years, it's a long time. A lot happens. They chat for awhile, she says Goodbye, Dr. Tom, leaves, and cries.

Tom tells Amanda he's going to work and will be on call. She tries to get more information but Dr. Tom says his work requires conidentiality. Amanda figures out that Adam is one of his patients, and says: "Tell me, instead of acting strange and hiding something. It's a part of you, and you have a history of shutting me out. If that's how it's going to be, you need to tell me because I can't go through with it." 

Erica goes to her mother's house where Sam gives birth to a baby boy who they name Leo.

Erica returns to 50/50 and tells Julianne she doesn't want to sell 50/50. But she gives her the script she was reading, which is a fiction title, and says she wants to open a fiction department. She also wants to take a few weeks off to go on tour, and divulges that the secret someone is Kai. 

Dr. Tom is speaking with Dr. Naadiah in office, telling her the situation is impossible. He cannot build an open honest relationship, and it may not be enough for Amanda if he cannot talk about his work. Dr. Naadiah has never told her wife and she's OK with that, whereas Dr. Tom destroyed his relationship with Amanda and won't do that again. Dr. Naadiah says that telling her isn't an option, and if Dr. Tom can't abide by this they need to have a bigger conversation.

50/50 is now calling agents and telling them they are open for fiction. They are still looking for their female version of the Secret of Now, for women by women.

Erica's voiceover: "Secrets. Some buoy us up, give us strength. Others exhaust us, and sap our energy. Some secrets we long to share but we can't because we fear the consequences will be too dire. Or because the secret isn't ours to tell."

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